Never Eat Alone…The Importance of Networking

I am sure that you are being overwhelmed by the same message when it comes to networking. You hear it from your parents, your professors, the career center and definitely from me…networking, and the ability to do it effectively, is an integral part, not only of your job search but of the career exploration process. You will enter the workforce at a time of significant opportunity or challenge…depending upon how you look at the world. I am a notorious optimist with a dash of realism and a flare for the dramatic. I would argue that you all will have more opportunity than previous generations of college students…if…and only IF you expend the time, energy and effort to thoughtfully explore all of the options and opportunities available to you.

Many of you are probably saying, “I have a number of internships on my resume and they have helped me network, gain some professional skills and explore a couple of companies that I might be interested in working for.” In the same breath I will tell you 1) that is outstanding, keep exploring organizations and their cultures to determine what ones interest you from your first hand experience 2) that is just the tip of the iceberg. They say that only 30% of an iceberg is visible above water. My point is that you are just scratching the surface of your career exploration potential by participating in internships. Internships are a great start, but again, they are just that…a starting point. Read more on why I feel internships are only the tip of the iceberg in my upcoming blog on informational interviewing.

Based on the title of this blog, you are probably thinking…”Wow, this guy wants me to never grab a bite to eat and just be by myself.” In fact, Never Eat Alone is the title of a book by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz. Since I am not a book critic, I will leave the research on book reviews to you, but I highly encourage you to borrow, buy or rent this book. The idea of networking and its importance is timeless and based on the current state of the economy and the power of social marketing/networking (LinkedIn, Facebook etc.), the topic in and of itself is not earth shattering. I think what is profound and unique about this particular book’s take on networking is that its bedrock mantra is paying it forward.

Never Eat Alone stresses the importance of reaching out to people with the end goal being to try to find a way to help them. Networking does not always have to be about personal gain or about finding a job. Networking can and should be about connecting individuals who based on needs, aspirations, interests and passions should know one another.

I good friend of mine recommended this book to me and it fundamentally changed the way that I thought about networking and when and how it should be applied. There is an art and science to reaching out to people, sharing your goals and aspirations and truly listening to the other person to hear theirs. The next step is being truly thoughtful about trying to find a way to help that person achieve those goals. When you focus your energies and efforts on helping others achieve their goals, you will be amazed by the generosity and kindness that you receive in return. Suffice it to say…this book is a must read! It will not only help with career exploration but it may fundamentally change the way you tackle day to day challenges in life. As a matter of fact, I feel so strongly about it that I will keep a copy in my office for anyone who would like to read it. I will request only two things from the borrower: 1) that they return it (of course, so that others may benefit) 2) that they comment on the book once they have returned it.

I really hope that you will find the fundamental principles of this book as useful as I have.

Leveraging Technology

Regardless of how you feel about applications like Facebook (and the fact that a 24 year old drives the most traffic on the planet...insanely jealous or awestruck), LinkedIn, Twitter etc. these are now global brands and applications with far reaching implications beyond networking and marketing businesses. They are shaping the way people interact socially and they are here to stay regardless of ones personal opinion (obviously harder for someone like me...read old to adopt). Which begets the point that if you are not up to speed on how to leverage them...you will quickly become a relic. Its not just having a profile but knowing how best to use them to maximize the benefit to you. Similarly, part of the challenge and fun is even knowing what resources are available to you. Thus the importance of the maven...



I recently read Macolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point (I highly recommend) and he quite eloquently articulated the power of social epidemics and the players that cause these epidemics to tip i.e. salespeople, mavens and connectors. The phenomenon of social media through the use of Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter has turned your average individual into a potential connector. Salespeople...to me...either have the requisite personality, skills and abilities to be effect persuaders or they learn (with a great deal of effort), but the maven...the maven is a special breed. Maven's have content knowledge and expertise to a depth that others can only longingly aspire to. Increasingly technology mavens especially those who can translate techno-speak into laymen's terms are becoming more and more important because of their ability to help you navigate the waters of identifying useful websites, online tools and applications will be invaluable for networking, job searching etc.. I highly recommend your checking out http://www.socialtimes.com/ and http://www.allfacebook.com/. Nick O'Neill the founder of these sites is a former Kogod student. He is one of my mavens and he is a goldmine in his space. He is one of the two major bloggers detailing the growing pains and best ways to use Facebook especially for business and because of that fact he has a direct line to the higher ups at Facebook. Don't be turned off by the fact that some of the content is technology heavy....there are nuggets on these sites...even for technophobes...like me.

Seek out a Mentor

My particular advising style is one that I would characterize as collaborative, focusing on mutual respect. I expect a great deal from my students. As I hope they expect great things from themselves. I have even been known to give homework assignments. Please understand, this is out of concern and a desire to prepare you all for the challenges that you will face in the world of work and in graduate school. Expectations in both graduate school and the work world will be high and because of the intellectual, academic and social capabilities of you all, I see no reason not to mirror those same expectations as you explore your undergraduate experience. I often share with my students, that I am an open book (to a certain extent =) and that I am as engaged in their academic and extracurricular experiences as they are. I am willing to assist you with identifying the resources that you need to be successful but you must engage in the process for me to help.

I am more than willing to share with my students all of the mistakes that I made in college i.e. failing my first ever course, not participating in an internship until I was in graduate school and being ill prepared for my transition from school to work. I share these experiences not because being self-deprecating in nature is one of my better qualities or because I am so humble that it doesn’t hurt a smidge to relive these memories but because I care and I don’t want my students to make any of the same mistakes that I did. Its’ totally unnecessary and I feel part of my responsibility as an advisor is to share with you these blunders so that you can avoid them. Now, what you choose to do with the information is totally up to you. My point is that if you adhere to my following tips on successfully establishing a mentoring relationship, you will find that you have vast resources to call upon to help avoid some of the more common mistakes that those who have gone before you have most egregiously committed….me included.

The mentor – mentee relationship is invaluable for both parties. I find myself learning from every interaction with former students of mine whom I still maintain a relationship. These students look to me not because I am omniscient but because they believe there is value in having the perspective of someone slightly older share with them their life experiences. As a student, you are uniquely positioned to build incredible relationships with faculty, staff and recent graduates of American University but as you do remember these very important things….

Be Courteous – You would be amazed how far being courteous will get you. Address people in the appropriate fashion based on your relationship with them and your comfort level, however, always, always err on the side of being more formal as opposed to less when reaching out to mentors.

Be Respectful – Peoples’ time is a valuable commodity. As students, you are all extremely busy with internships, work, academics and extracurricular activities. As you ask for time from your mentor, keep in mind that they have pressures and time commitments as well that range from teaching responsibilities, to work obligations and families potentially with children. Communicating that you respect someone’s time will go a long way in making a favorable impression.

Be Genuine – Take interest in your mentor’s life and passions. Hopefully, you all share some things in common which led to your pursuit of the relationship. Be genuine in expressing your interest and your mentor will return the sentiment.

Be Yourself – You are a young adult seeking information in order to make more informed decisions. Humbly present yourself as such, no more or no less and hopefully your mentor will present themselves as the same, someone who has more experience or information and is willing to share.

Don’t Limit Yourself – Mentors will come from all walks of your life and all age ranges. Be open to many mentor-mentee relationships. The more trusted advisors you have the more information you will have access to in order to make your own informed decision.

Pay It Forward – When you are a young professional, give back. You most likely wont have a lot of money (I’m old and I don’t have a lot) but you will always have your time. Invest it wisely by giving it freely. If you are an older student, share your internship, work experience, grad school personal statement writing experiences etc. etc. with younger students. The mission of the School of International Service is to do just that…serve and it can be done by volunteering, running a non-profit, working for the government and by having a cup of coffee at a the Dav with someone interested in learning more about your experiences.

Mentors are a dime a dozen and you would be amazed at how much people enjoy sharing their information with people who are earnestly engaged and excited in what they have to share…but if you don’t ask you won’t know what you don’t know.